Monday, December 5, 2011

What do you get the cable company executive who has everything?

This is from woot, but I thought it was good, so I thought I would share with you folks.

Buying a Roku Player for a cable company exec: (note: woot has them for $50 refurbished right now, during there woot off)

Let’s see, here… oh, this one’s for me! “To Dad, From Rachel, Eric, and Brody.” What could it be? Is this what you guys camped on Black Friday for? Hmm, can’t wait to see what it is! Let me open it here…

Are you serious? A Roku XD 1080p Streaming Player?
How dare you?

Don’t you know what this thing does? It streams movies and TV shows from Netflix and Hulu Plus direct to your TV. In HD, even. Do I need to say it again? Netflix! Hulu Plus! I don’t even allow anyone to speak the names of those bastards in this house, much less actually watch them. And here you are bringing this, this filth into my house. On Christmas.

Do you want me to be unemployed, kids? Do you want Daddy to be out of a job because people keep paying for Netflix and Hulu Plus subscriptions instead of giving their money to Cablecastcom? What happens if everyone decides to stop paying exorbitant prices for cable channels they never watch? What happens when companies like Daddy’s are forced to give consumers what they want at reasonable prices? What then, kids?

After everything Cablecastcom has given this family – our five homes, all the exotic vacations, Daddy’s collection of restored vintage submarines – this Roku XD 1080p Streaming Player is like a gift-wrapped dagger in my heart.

You kids should all be ashamed of yourselves. I just hope this is the last Christmas the Roku XD player will ruin around here.